


3 lost boys looking to be found COMPLETED

by Hannieeee



Category: 3 racha, 3racha - Fandom, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA, 3racha are great and I love them okay, Chan pls sleep, Idk what to say, Just lost Bois, Multi, stan stray kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 08:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20636534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannieeee/pseuds/Hannieeee
Summary: When 3 broken boys are put together in a music project can they work together despite their difficulties and problem's. Each boy is having there own personal problems . Will they open up ? Can they help eachother ?





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : this is simply a story and not based on real life or assumtions and hasn't been written to offend or upset anyone. The story will brief on sleeplessness , depression and self hatred so if that triggers you please don't read. This is my first au so im sorry if it's bad. English is my first ( and only lol) language but I do struggle so please don't yell at me if I get something wrong. 

Chan looked up from his work space to see the clock. 2.34am . Not bad , normally when he decides to stay in the studio producing music into the night ,he isnt finished until 4am . He smiles , he was getting faster , jyp is bound to be impressed with his progress.   
His eyes slowly fluttered shut as he layed his head on the piles of paper on his desk. His breathing slowed as it got darker and darker and darker. 

He jolted awake. Maybe he messed up. Or there was some good ad-libs that he could add , after all ,attention to detail is key. 

" What's a few more hours when I will have a musical masterpiece " he said to himself , knowing fully well the price he was giving.

He would rather obsess over the song then sleep. Anything but sleep. 

Ever since Chan was young he has had sleep paralysis and not one that he can just pretend didn't happen. The fear grew at the slight mention of sleep. The darkness surrounded him . Although he didn't like to admit it. Sleeping terrified him. 

Later on in the day

Jisung ran into class and stumbled into the back of the class and sat down on the floor. He adjusted his oversized top to make sure it wasn't to tight against his body whilst receiving death stares from the teacher. He looked up and have a apologetic smile before looking at his hands.

" As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted " she glanced towards jisung " partner work is important in making music , it takes a great understanding to be able to compliment eachothers strengths and protect eachothers weaknesses " 

The words started blurring and jisung stopped paying   
attention to what was being said he was to busy thinking about his trousers. They were quite tight. His legs were more visible then he would have liked , he felt his heart rate increase as he looked around the room. He could hear there thoughts now : 

" Ew look at his legs"  
"Imagine going out like that"  
" He's disgusting" 

He pulled his legs up to his chest and pulled his top over his knees , he just needed to focus . It's all in his head . 

The partners were announced and everyone divided into groups of three or four. Han watched as two boys walked towards him. 

One was a boy he has spotted in class before , always had his head down , his music in and sat far away from everyone else. He almost always wore black head to toe , today was no different. His black cap covered his face as he looked down to the floor. 

The other was slightly taller but not by much . Again he wore black but less like he was trying to hide and more like he wanted to be seen. Like he was trying to stand out . His hair was died blonde and was in very poor condition , as if it was about to fall out at any moment. He wore a smile on his face that almost took away from his sunken eyes.

"Hey im Chan " he introduced still smiling " what are your guys' names "

The boy in black looked highly uncomfortable , as if he had been asked a deeply personal question . " Im changbin I guess" he mumbled 

"You guess ? Do you not know your name ? " Jisung   
joked , only to receive a offend look.  
" Sorry , um I'm jisung "   
" Well " Chan said rapping his arms around the other boys shoulders " let's make some music !"


	2. Studio timess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys start to produce their song but are finding difficulty connecting

The studio was filled with silence . Despite the fact that the room as petite , the three boys managed to be in opposing parts of the room. Chan sat in his usual spot , covered in scribbles of potential lyrics whilst he was frantically writing something. Jisung was sat cross legged on the floor scrolling through his beats on his phone whilst texting his friends occasionally.

Changbin was in the corner , head down and trying to ignore the fact that he has to work with these two other boys. He didn't understand why he had to. He's a amazing writing he doesn't need to practice writing with then when he clearly could write amazing songs by himself. 

He was aware that they had been in the studio for a while but despite that he had no intention of speaking to any of the boys . Even if it hurried the process.

Suddenly jisung threw his phone on the floor with a defeated sign making changbin jump.   
" How am I supposed to pick a beat if we don't have any idea what we are writing about " he said in defeat rolling around on the floor. 

Chan nodded in agreement " yeah I can't write lyrics if I have nothing to go off"

Both boys looked a changbin expectantly , hoping he had had more success or at least a idea of what they were going to make .

"I-i normally write alone . It's how I work. Sorry. I don't know how to do this. " 

" I think in order for us to be able to work together we need to be able to understand eachother . At least be somewhat friends " Chan said sweetly.  
Changbin was slightly confused by this. Why was Chan's tone so reasurring ? Why did it make him want to spill his guts ? No . He had been down this path before. The sweetest people can sting the hardest.

" I would love to get to know you losers " he watched as jisung shuddered at the word " truly I love wasting valueable music time on it. But I have places to be and people to see ."

He stood up with his fists clenched , although he wasn't sure why , there wasn't anything to be angry about. Changbin walked towards the door but before he left jisung spoke up.

" I'm going to my friends studio tomorrow , we can hang out before and produce then ?" 

And for whatever reason , despite his gut telling him no , changbin agreed to the little squirrel much to the others approval.


	3. Studio timez

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys head to the studio to work on there music but decide something is getting in the way

*the next day*   
Jisung arrive to his friends studio very late . He was at least a hour and a half late but in his defence he was feeling super self conscious today. He couldn't remember the last time he felt goo about himself but today was bad. He couldn't help but look in the mirror and feel disgusted. He wanted to change how he looked to bad. He just felt so , gross. And he wishes he wouldn't.  
His parents have been making him get therapy for around two years now but it hadn't helped . All it did was make him feel more alone , like no one understands his pain.  
For whatever he found comfort in the other boys . He could tell that they were also broken , beaten up by society and tossed away. He wanted to tell them all about his insecurities and have them hold him tight. He planned on telling them today.

He walked into the studio to see the two boys making small talk .   
" I've been up all night making this beat , what do you think" Chan muttered tiredly  
To the boys surprise changbin spoke up " I like it , the beat drop isnt as impactful as it could be but I do think it's a good base that we can work on"

Jisung nodded in agreement " ive also thought about a topic for song ." The boys turned to face him expectantly " well I thought we could do it about why we are , you know , broken . How life sucks that sort of thing "

"I don't know if im comfortable with that , I mean I don't like telling people I don't know my shit " 

" I get that changbin but my therapist is always telling me that the best way to let out pent up emotions is to let them out. And this would really help me and you guys too "

After some moments of deep thought the boys decided that they should keep there problems out of the song , much to changbins excitement , but will try and talk to the group about it. Because , being alone in issues makes them harder to cope with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * authors note : hi idk y you guys are reading this trash but ty y <3 . Second. The next three chapters will focus on each of the boys issues . E.g a whole chapter dedicated to Chan so yeah it will consist of flash backs and less speech so sorry if that's annoying but ye Ty again . Im also aiming to upload those chapters this week as this update was short.


	4. A pretty face with a dark soul

" I guess I'll start " Chan said with a deep breath , the others showing no sign of wanting to go first.  
" I can't sleep "  
" That's hardly a secret Chan , anyone could tell that from the bags under your eyes and the amount you yawn " changbin said rolling his eyes.  
" I haven't finished ... I literally can't sleep "  
" Are you scared of your dreams ? "  
" Yes"

Chan moved , clearly uncomfortable with the new tension in the air. " Everytime I sleep , I see this thing . A almost monster like thing. But not a fuzzy green monster they have in stories . It's big , dark and menacing . It fucking scares me. It chases me in my sleep , drags me down to its level and tears me apart . And every time , every fucking time , I close my eyes it's there . Waiting to destroy me . Waiting for the right moment to wipe me out. Waiting for me to die. And no matter what I do , no matter what Pinterest website I read , medicine I take , exercises I do. It's there . And it always will be " 

The room grew silent as the two boys listening in processed what they had heard. Chan was such a confident , hard working trainee , he would stay up late working his ass off but there was another reason. The whole time he's been up , awake and producing , he had been suffering too. They didn't know how to process someone so strong being in so much pain. 

After what felt like forever jisung spoke up , " I think your very brave . You might get scary dreams but you always get up every day with a smile on your face. You help so many people. You've only known us for a few days and you've shown such kindness . You are more then your problems "

Teary eyed Chan went over to give the younger boy a thankful hug .

" You won't have them forever . One day , however far away it is. You will be free " 

Chan turned to changbin , surprised by his emotional response. He'd previously viewed him as someone who lacks empathy . But there's definitely more too him.   
Chan pulled changbin into a hug , shocked that it was reciprocated.   
They all sat there for abit. Hugging .

"I want to go next before I change my mind " changbin suddenly pulled away from the cuddle pile. Jisung and Chan untangled themselves and sat up obediently . " I ...I "   
After a pause jisung crawled over to changbin and placed him hand on top of the older, showing him that it was okay and he was safe. He was safe . 

" I find it hard to trust people ... And I find it hard to talk about it cos it's still a fresh wound. But you two , both of you , you um , you showed me happiness . You showed me joy . And when im with you , I feel safe . And I haven't felt that in a long time." 

" About a year ago, my best friend backstabbed me. Pretty hard . They talked poorly about me behind my back until it wasn't behind my back it was to my face. They mocked and laughed at me. But I felt trapped , I've known them for so fucking long , letting them go seemed impossible. But I'm trying."

" You trying is more then enough , you are doing the right thing "

"You deserve to be happy , as if that means loosing a friend you might have too. Sometimes you have to put you first"

These words of encouragement caused a small smile on changbins face . Telling them didn't backfire. They weren't laughing at him and making fun of him. They supported him and cared for him . Which is all he could have hoped for and was exactly what he needed. 

There was one person left , one last confession and everything will be okay. They will understand eachother , work together better and therefore the song will be better . But there was a problem. As much as jisung wanted to talk about what was upsetting him , he couldn't bring himself to say it . He couldn't find the words as if his mouth was glued shut. 

Sensing that jisung was having a problem speaking up , He toke ahold of jisungs spare hand ( changbin still holding jisungs other hand desperately ) . Jisung knew it wasnt going to be easy to admit but he knew he was comfortable and safe . 

" Whatever is wrong , I'll fix it . I'll fix it for you " 

Jisung gave Chan a smile as if to say thank you despite his ever growing nerves. 

"I kinda hate myself "

" Okay , you are safe you can talk about it " changbin said in a reasurring tone.

"I just , I can't help but look at myself and hate it . I hate everything about how I look , how my clothes for by body. If I could just look abit better then I could be happy . " 

"Jisung " changbin turned his whole body so that he was making direct eye contact with they boy , rubbing away the youngers escaping tears " I know it's hard . But you will learn to love yourself , because you are a amazing , beautiful boy that is full with life. You are amazing and I hope one day when you look in the mirror you too will see this."

" I agree , even if it's a slow process I hope one day you can learn to love yourself as much as you are loved by others " Chan nodded. 

"Okay " jisung wanted to change the subject quickly . " Has anyone got any ideas for song lyrics? "   
Changbin pulled out his notebook and scribbled some notes down " these are just some quotes we could include "

The list included   
\- i don't want to see it , it's scaring me , make it stop  
\- you have to understand it's hard for me  
\- a pretty face and a dark soul  
\- I finally felt like someone could see me  
\- from the dark side of my dreams  
\- you're alone


	5. Small things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys preform their song and reflect on what has happened in the past few days

The boys , despite there struggles decided that they wanted to write a inspiring song. Although they had only known eachother for a short time . They felt a emotional connection. When they were with eachother , whatever they are doing they felt safe and at home. Like they had found family in friendship.   
They decided to write a song called " small things " where they told people to focus on the little things in life rather then stressing and getting upset about everything else. It's about how it's hard to sometimes see the smaller things in life when looking at the bigger picture.

They get up to preform. They opted to go first as they wanted to get the song out to the world as soon as possible. They stood Infront of the class , around 30 beady eyes looking at them , waiting. Han jisung stepped forward , wearing a shirt that he had tucked into some tight trousers. He can't lie , he was still self conscious but he had his days of confidence and he knew the boys supported him no matter what he wore.   
Deep breaths .

"Feel like bursting today with even a pat   
Thank you for holding it in well , thanks for the little things I do   
Though it's been hard up until now, but that's okay  
Even if you think about it all night , it will probably be resolved tomorrow "

He felt himself loosen up and fall into the lyrics . No matter how bad he felt , how much he tore himself down , he would be okay and one day he will wear what he wants . No regrets . And that day will be victorious.  
Chan gave him a small pat on the back and a smile 

" It's the small things that matter  
It's the small things that matter   
Although I'm busy these days , it's hard , it's tiring , it's better "

Chan focused on how much his life had changed since he had met these boys. He went to see a doctor who gave him prescribed medication to help him fall asleep. He also went to talk to a councellor about his nightmares . It had helped him alot but , he knew , his two new best friends had helped more. He was forever grateful for there kindness and compassion.

It was time for changbin to rap. He grabbed the mic and made eye contact with Chan and jisung. He needed them to know how much this ment to him.

"Let's smile often  
On this road , I have alot of time alone and my headaches intense  
But my mind about being positive remains unchanged   
In order to reach my dreams with a smile , I set off  
On this road , I hate the darkness of it all"

From being a boy who would rather shy away , produce alone and not socialise to a boy who had two amazing brothers that he loved ment alot to changbin. He never intended to make more friends but he did and he was so glad he was put in the group with them. They made him so happy

" Although it's not a big deal , it makes your mood up , it makes you smile  
Although it's small , it's enough  
Cause it's the small things that matter "

The boys pulled eachother into a hug. It was a rough and bump road . But they made it . And who knows maybe they will debut some day ? Maybe they could post there music online. All they know is that they are destined for greatness . And they are destined for greatness together.   
THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) Hi ! Thank you for reading this if you did ! This was alot I low-key cried multiple times cos I didn't know where I was going and I gave up last week butttttt ye. I chose small things to be the song they made as it's one of my favourite 3racha songs ( I didn't include all the lyrics but pls go listen !) And ya I hope this was okay ! Don't forget stream double knot . Ily . Thank you


End file.
